Shots he will not shut up about

The lifetime-best rounds, ranked by score against par. Every one of these has a scorecard, and most of them have video — because if it wasn't recorded, did the birdie even happen?

Evidence for the prosecution

The worst rounds ever committed on camera. Water hazards, out-of-bounds, and at least one hole that finished in double figures. He left these public on purpose. Respect the honesty.

The recurring segment nobody requested

A dedicated series where Paladin compiles his own worst swings and narrates them like a nature documentary. Peak content.

Ten-second attention spans, served

Hole-in-ones, near misses, cows, and one ill-advised pair of sandals. Swipe through — tap to watch.

The main event

The arcade cabinet, every vintage from 2006 to 2019 — where most of the yelling happens.

Same swing, smaller screen

Golden Tee on the phone, for when the cabinet is out of reach.

Mini-golf, maximum chaos

Windmills, tiki bars and pirate ships — plus a genuinely absurd hole-in-one on Bigfoot Bend.

A brief, unexplained detour into bowling

It is not golf. We are aware.

Everything that refused to be categorized

Bar streams, one-offs, and whatever "Stoned at Royal Dubai" is.

Statistically, a golfer

Every single ball

All — videos, searchable. Click any row to watch it with the scorecard attached.